Doing drugs with pretty nurses

I may have given the impression that this treatment consists of a series of IL-2, pethidine and oxygen. The truth is far more complicated. When I heard Quent say to one of the nurses "I think I need another shot, Cate", my thoughts turned to Pete Doherty. Even he may (allegedly) be phased by the concoction of pills and injections which has been Quent's life for the last five days.

On top of the IL-2 and pethidine, he's had ample quantities of metocopramide, ibuprofen, temezepam, gaviscon, piriton, levofloxacin, paracetamol, ondansetron, gabapentin, ranitidine, nystatin, phosphate sandos and loperamide. New names are being promised as a going home present. In my acceptance speech, I would like to thank the nurses for their assistance in translating the prof's writing.

Side effects to date include thrush, flaky skin, foaming at the mouth, shortness of breath, fever, low blood pressure, painful legs, itchy eyes, poor circulation, swelling and diarrhoea.

The latter provided last night's drama, after a final dose which otherwise was better than expected. Quent realised he needed "to go" and so led a 4am procession to the bathroom, with nurses, wife and various monitoring machines following behind. Unfortunately, Quent collapsed on the way and then convulsed when we got there, so a portable oxygen canister joined the parade. Oh, you'll always find me in the bathroom at parties.

We are hoping to leave this evening or early tomorrow morning. These five days have been a steep learning curve. We know how wonderful and experienced the team is here. We know how Quent is likely to react, the layout of the hospital, what to pack next time - and what not to. And, last but not least, we have learned to appreciate the wonders of the out-moded and under-rated commode.